◀◀ PROBLEMS YOUTHS FACE▶▶
Death Aftermath
“From the rising of the sun to the going down of the same is misery heaped upon misery. Swimming and swimming, I’m swimming in an ocean of pain. So high are the mountains I’m climbing. I wish all this could come to an end. But how? I ask myself!
“A happy life clothed with lots of laughter, filled with many choices and so satisfying. That’s all I have ever known. Attention, my voice could always be given, even at it’s lowest. In dark times and painful moments, help was always at my feet. Needs and wants, I never gave a thought to them, they always got met. Without my concern and knowing it; in a twinkling of an eye, it’s all gone. Everything ceased in a second, and silently said goodbye.
“Yes she is gone, it came to my attention. A sad face; A valley of tears; Weak and ill, that could describe me. Too long it took me to accept the fact. Shout and shout hoping she could hear me, but there was no response. Bitterly I cried hoping for her mercy, she never came back. Is this the end, I thought to myself. From where will I find a replica?
“A new life; A new begging. It was a complete revolution in my life. Could it be better or worse? I thought in my mind. Can I at least receive that same affectionate love. I hoped for the same long left moments.
“It’s so painful. It’s unbearable. I can’t take it. The burden is too heavy for me to carry. Everything has changed for the worse. Who can take heed of my voice? To whom should I turn with my problems? Will my needs ever going to be met? A lot of questions filled up my mind.
“Her death made my father get himself a new darling and myself a new mother. At first I thought my tears will get wiped away, and a smile appear on my face as everything comes back to normal. But I was wrong. Everything took off from bad to worse. The valley of my tears became deeper and wider. The mountains became even higher. My whole life lost shape, like a huge mountain it crumbled.
“He use to call me his cup cake. He gave me tight hugs and blew me kisses. Where is all that now? Was his love for me tied in mummy? I thought to myself. He says nothing about my way of living. Everything seem to be okay in his eyes. I wonder if he really is my father.
“To whom should I turn? Who can hear my cry and wipe away my tears? Is there really hope for my future? I wish I could get answers to all these questions.
“I had dreams to achieve. I dreamt of the most brightest future as things promised. But I can’t comprehend what’s happening. Even the little I achieved I’m beginning to lose them. The education that gave me hope and faith for a better life is all gone. The health that kept me strong and energetic is no longer sustainable. A broad smile that could always appear on my face, is all vanished. I wonder what my life is going to be like. My future is jeopardised. My health is paralysed. My expectations are cut off.
“My step-mummy hates me. I wish she could love me as her own. I hate this life. I wish I could...”
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Monday, September 30, 2019
Friday, September 13, 2019
MAKING
THE
RIGHT
DECISIONS
Making decisions is not easy as it sounds, but it's very necessary. It is one of the things youths straggle with.
Making decisions is vital for every living being. Everything happening in our lives is as a result of decisions made at some point, be it by you or by someone else. Of course there are certain things we cannot determine; for instance, one’s race or complexion or one’s wish to be on earth forever- nature simply takes its course. However, things like being, rich or poor, sick or healthy, happy or sad, amongst other things, are a direct result of decisions made at some point.
The life of an individual depends on the quality of decisions made, whether consciously or unconsciously. If poor decisions are made, automatically, the quality of life will be poor. On the other hand, good decisions will lead to top quality life. Decisions shape and mold our lives.
Decisions that were made yesterday will affect us today and in the future to come, and those we are making and yet to make, are also a reflection of what our future will be like.
Most of the chaos in the world can be attributed to poor decisions being implemented. If more people make the right decisions, decisions that aren’t at the expense of others, selfless decisions, you’ll find that very few people will be poor, ill or sad.
The one who makes wise decisions attracts joy, happiness, health and wealth.
As one grows, making decisions pertaining to life becomes a personal responsibility. Unfortunately, some are living their lives according to other people’s decisions.
‘IF YOU ARE UNABLE TO MAKE DECISIONS FOR YOURSELF, YOUR LIFE WILL FOLLOW THE PATH CHOSEN BY OTHERS FOR YOU.’
Someone out there is studying a certain program in college or at a university not because he decided to, but because the decision was made for him.
Someone is married, not because he or she chose to get married, but because, peradventure, his or her parents made the decision.
It doesn’t have to be that way. After all, you are the one who is going to live that life, whether good or bad decisions have been made for you, not anyone else. Your life should be a personal responsibility. I’m not implying that external forces like parents, peers or the government shouldn’t interfere. What l mean is, they shouldn’t make the final decision for you. Their views should be presented to you as suggestions not ultimate decisions. It’s good to get some career guidance and advice, but the final decision should be yours to make. Allowing external forces to make final decisions over your life will definitely affect your future.
Imagine having this conversation with someone:
Question: What are you studying?
Response: I’m studying Politics.
Question: What do you want to be in life? (You probe a little farther.)
Response: Actually, I’m not sure.
Question: What inspired you to study politics?
Response: My parents told me l should study that!
It’s a shame that so many people have graduated with degrees they were expected to acquire in spite of their own interests. It’s very good to obey our parents and elders, but they should leave room for us to make the decisions that will determine the course of our lives. In life you shouldn’t do things just because someone close or respected told you to. Do the right things, those which make you happy, but will not have a negative impact on others.
Ask yourself:
What am l passionate about?
Provided there are no limitations at all, what will my life be like?
What kind of car, house, wife or husband, career or friends do l intend to have?
Lastly, how will l achieve all this?
If you were able to provide answers to these questions, you might have already reached the highest level of independence. This is where everything concerning your life is directly under your control. That’s what making your own decisions means.
In this chapter, I will walk you through a few critical areas in life that require careful decision making. Failure to make wise decisions in these areas, will result in complications. Please take note of these things.
Right Decisions About Your Career.
A career is an occupation for which you are trained, and will make a living from. Most importantly, it should be something you enjoy doing, even without benefiting directly from it. For instance, someone might decide to be a soccer player simply because he loves playing soccer, regardless of the fact that he can make a living out of it.
Your question now might be, ‘How do l decide what to pursue as a career?’
I discovered 3 main ways of deciding on a career path, (there could be more).
i. Academics.
The most common way of deciding on a career is by considering an academic qualification. This is particularly true in Africa where it is strongly believed that education is the key to success. This fails to acknowledge the fact that other factors play an important role too.
After so many years in school, one might choose to consider the strength in one subject as over another, hence, the choice of a certain career. For example, one might have a deeper understanding and passion for Economics, resulting in the decision to become an Economist. Another might be great with numbers, hence, becoming a Mathematician or an Accountant.
Education unlocks the potential within. It leads one to the goldmine deep inside.
To become a great Accountant, one has to go through a certain process.
Accounting consists of principles which need to be mastered; this is made possible through the learning process. This is why it’s important to take our academic work seriously. Some gifts are discovered through education; you will never know them until you go to school. However, always remember that getting an education which result in certification is not the only way to make it in life.
ii. Talents
A talent is something innate; it’s something that’s present at birth, and cannot be taken away by anyone. Unlike an acquired skill, a talent cannot be passed from one person to another; it’s God given. In other words it’s natural, it’s inborn -you cannot run away from it. Nonetheless the decision to use it or not, lies with you.
Let’s take singing for instance, when you discover that you have a beautiful voice you may choose to pursue music as a career.
Without mentioning names, there is someone in this world who was profoundly in love with music, both composing
and singing, ever since she was a little girl. She grew up, went to school, and studied some other things, but her talent remained and decided not to sit on it. Now she earns a living from music and is one of the best Gospel artists in the world.
Don’t sit on the talent God blessed you with, use it. Being a natural skill, it’s something you love doing even on a daily basis. Doing it gives you pleasure. Note that l didn’t say what you love doing is your talent.
If you can make a living out of your talent, feel free to do so. Freedom is when you gladly do what you want without restraint. Use your talent for the good of mankind. Do what makes your heart sing.
iii. Passion
Last but not least, a career can be derived from one’s passion for something.
Some people are so passionate about certain things to the extent that they stick to their commitments in spite of the challenges. They find satisfaction in getting things done. Such people stop at nothing, they keep on pushing even when it seems like the whole world is against them.
Passion isn’t directly related to talent, passion seasoned with discipline goes way beyond undisciplined talent.
For instance, one’s passion for football may be sparked simply by watching a talented footballer play the game. Although the skill might not be innate, this passionate person may become the best footballer if the right amount of diligence and discipline are added to his passion. A passionate person doesn’t just look at his or her capabilities, but also believes that anything is possible. He works on his game until it comes out of him naturally.
Many businesses were not established because the founders were educated or extremely talented. Instead, they emerged because the owners were passionate about something. Today, thousands if not millions of businesses have been established because certain individuals held on to their passion. One can be passionate about something, without being educated or talented in that field, but still become very successful.
l am deeply convinced that these three ways are a guide to how one can choose a career wisely- a career that won’t be a burden.
A career should always be based on your interests regardless of the financial reward. It has to be something that you love doing. Don’t let your parents, school authorities, the government, or anyone else choose a career path for you. Accept their advice, acknowledge the career guidance you’re given, but don’t go and study Accounting because that’s what your parents want you to study. I tell you, failure to choose a career wisely will result in that career becoming a burden to you.
Choose Your Career Wisely!
Wise Decisions About Your Associates.
Have you ever asked yourself why you hang around a certain group of people? Why do you hang around with Christians or heathens, drunkards or non-drunkards, successful people or failures, complainers or solution based thinkers?
If you have never asked yourself any of these questions, go on and ask yourself:
Why do l hang around those girls?
Why do l hang around those boys?
Why do l hang around those ladies?
Why do l hang around those gentlemen?
Despite them being good or bad company, the answer is because you have something in common. The way you perceive and believe things is the same. In other words, you are on the same track and on the same page of the book.
‘Birds Of Same Feather Flock Together’
“How can two walk together if they haven’t agreed?”, the Bible says.
Your associates today are your associates because there is a mutual understanding amongst you. Your behavior is influenced by your associates. You do things the way you do because of your associates. You are a product of who you spend much of your time with. The way you do things is because you copied someone, whether, intentionally or unintentionally, consciously or subconsciously.
Good Company
“Do not be so deceived and misled! Evil companionship (communion, associations) corrupt and deprave good manners and morals and character.” 1 Corinthians 15:33 (AMP)
Are you aware of the destruction you bring over your life when you spend much of your time with the wrong people, people who are going nowhere, who do not have any plans for their lives, people who do all sorts of unproductive things?
Even if you don’t enjoy their way of doing things, you will probably end up doing the same. That’s the power of association.
I always give an example of people who swear a lot. In the beginning you’ll be astonished and even ashamed of the abusive language they use. As time goes on you get used to it, you become more tolerant. In the end you find yourself using the same dirty language without giving it a thought.
Keep The Right Associates
Surround yourself with people who add value to your life, people who will make you a better person, people who can propel you to a better future, people who lift you up not drag you down, and people who can give your life meaning.
If you surround yourself with people who are going nowhere in life, the end is certain, you will be a loser. If you surround yourself with winners, you will be a winner as well. The fact is, both failure and success are contagious.
Winners and losers have distinct destinations. This should compel you to surround yourself with sound minds: with people who can challenge you to dream big as well propel you to do more to make the dream a reality.
Knowledge do away with perishability. Knowledge is of great value, words mold a life, and wisdom creates wealth and gives long life. You can never find these from narrow minded people; they will only bring you down.
Eagles fly with other eagles, choose your associates wisely!
Decisions About Who Becomes Your Master.
It’s very important to know who your master is in life. The role of a master is to direct you on the correct way to do certain things and as you learn much of the responsibility to do, the right thing falls on you. The master determines the way you should do things because he knows what’s best.
I suggest you make God your Master. Why?
Simply because no one knows you better than Him. He knew you even before you were in your mother’s womb. He has definite plans for your life. They are not mere plans, they’re plans to prosper you not to fail you. Plans to give you health, plans to give you extraordinary success, plans to give you the best out of life.
God desires to prosper you in every single way, spiritually and physically. However He will never force Himself to be your Master. It’s your decision to make. He is always willing to fill the void. The question is, Will you allow Him to be your Master?
Making God your Master, means living by His Word. It means making a commitment to following what’s said in the scriptures. You must live by the Word, walk the Word, do the Word and speak the Word. Let it consume you because God is the Word (John1:1)and by so doing you would have allowed Him to lead you, you would have created a personal relationship with Him.
What l particularly love about the Word of God is that it contains solutions to every problem; it answers every question. Study the Word and you will find the truth you seek.
John 15:5 says,
“I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me and l in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.”
Without Him, we can do nothing. True success is found only in the Lord, not in anything or anyone else. Self-made success is short-lived. It’s like flowers, their glory is only for a short time after that they wither away. Success from the Lord however, lasts forever. True success comes from the Lord Jesus.
Jesus Christ is the Way; He has the recipe for true success!
Choose your master wisely!
I will dwell more on Jesus Christ in the last chapter.
Decisions About Your Future Partner.
One of the most important decisions one has to make is on who to marry. This is very important because if done wrongly, there may be serious consequences. In a three legged race, your partner determines how fast you run; he or she can lead you to either success or failure. An unhappy marriage is likely going to affect every other sphere of your life.
The decision on who to marry is very important. Many are hoping to be single again so that they can go back and make the right choices. If you are single, don’t rush into marriage, you have enough time to prepare for it.
It’s possible to lead a happy married life, one which is peaceful, only if you let God direct your path.
If you are looking for someone to marry, find someone who loves Jesus even more than she or he loves you. This individual is likely to treat you right because the Word of God shapes a greater part of his or her personality.
Take note, l am not merely talking about church goers. A lot of people go to church for the wrong reasons. Some want to find someone to marry, others just want God to help them out of an immediate problem, some want God to give them riches, yet the reason behind being a Christian is to live for Jesus. For that reason, if you marry someone who goes to church with any other intentions, you’re undoubtedly making a mistake. Jesus gave Himself for us, so that we live for Him. The right person for marriage should be someone who truly loves Jesus.
Before you were born, God had already determined a potential partner for you. He knows the right person for you, but if you don’t listen to Him, you will find yourself in a pool of misery. A marriage which is full of regrets.
Before you choose a partner, you must pray; God will lead you to the right person. The problem with most Christians all around the world is that they choose their partners first, then pray to God to guide them afterwards. Pray for the discernment of the Holy Spirit, and allow God to guide you through. Why would you pray for wisdom from God if you’ve already made the decision? Involve Him first, before you choose, and He will guide you through.
If you make decisions for yourself whilst excluding God, He will just sit back and watch you, just as he did with the Israelites when they demanded for a king, and eventually that marriage will become a problem.
God gave the Israelites Saul to fulfil their desires, he warned them of the consequences but they refused to listen. They rejected God as their King, and God let them have Saul.
Allow God to lead, He knows what’s best for you. He is able to bring the right person to you. Identifying the right person for you will be difficult if God is not involved.
Chapter 7 gives more detail on how best to choose a partner.
My Life Experience.
In my life experience as far as decision making is concerned, I became independent at a younger age. I’m glad my parents awarded me the right to make decisions that seem best to me when l was still a teenager. I do not mean to say they lost grip on me completely, they were always involved whenever l needed correction.
Every academic achievement l have ever attained was based on my decisions. It was my choice to study anything l ever studied. My parents only financed my academic choices, and they never chose for me the career path to follow.
My friends were my friends because l made that choice. Of course when l was still young my parents were concerned about who l should play with. It was when l became a teenager that they left me to make choices about friends. I befriended both good and bad friends who definitely influenced my behaviour. Sometimes we could indulge into some crazy stuff that l never wanted my parents to find out about. The exposure l had through having the right to choose friends has helped me a lot to identify different personalities. The exposure helped me to make a careful selection about who to keep as a friend.
I took a bold step and got rid of every friend that was at my expense. I deleted every friend that never added value to my life and the way l live it. That decision made me lost all my childhood friendships. I was overtaken by the love of God and l chose to follow Him. My childhood friends got carried away by the pleasures of the world. They all got involved into heavy smoking and drinking of beer. I tried to show them the path to follow but they followed not. That’s how we ended up going part ways. The truth is, we were in different worlds. That’s why we had to disband our hands and say good bye. This was a hard decision, but l had to follow it because it was necessary.
I’m grateful to my parents who gave me the right to choose. Even the church l go to, it was based on my decisions.
I understand that sometimes it may result into a destruction when the child become independent of decisions at a younger age. But to me that was not the case, it was for my advantage. Today l’m enjoying the wise decisions l made.
Another interesting decision l made, it was when l was 19 years of age.
Just like any other young person. I expected to get a job soon after l finished high school. When l finished my Advanced levels. I was rejoicing that l was going to get one and take up some responsibilities for myself. I used a lot of money to get my curriculum vitae nicely designed and printed into hard copies. Also, plenty of time l had to commit applying for any job. Unfortunately, l never found one, neither was l called at least for an interview. I was greatly disappointed because my expectation was turned down.
As someone with average grades, l comforted myself and opted to educate myself more. I went on and studied ACCA. In six months time l wrote my first exams and passed with flying colours. I managed to get a Diploma in Accounting and Business. I got financially challenged and l couldn’t continue studying. With my flying colours and a bit more advanced education l attained, l thought it was definite that l will get a job. I did a lot of applications. Just like what happened at first, there was no picture and no sound. I was so hurt especially at this time that l couldn’t pursue my studies because l was financially challenged.
Distressed as l was, the Spirit of God who is alive in me reminded me of the situation in the country. So many people are jobless because of scarcity of jobs. Just a rough estimate, about a ¼ if not less of the population is employed. The rest are unemployed. Most of the unemployed people are educated than l am. Others even have working experience but still couldn’t get any job. Being reminded of the situation, my sorrow disappeared. It’s not because l was rejoicing over the situation in the country, but l realized that God was taking me through a learning process.
Since millions of people are unemployed in the country, this gave me a new mindset of creating jobs for others. I perceived the situation as an opportunity for me to shine. Instead of going around grumbling and complaining about scarcity of jobs just like anybody else, l chose to think of solutions. From that day l took away my mind from getting a job that left a long time ago and it’s coming back is unpredictable. I focused my mind on creating jobs for others not getting one.
On that day the mind of getting a job took off. I made up my mind that l will never look for a job again. This decision made me a brandy new person. I became pregnant with ideas on how l’m going to create employment.
This is a decision that brought a complete revolution and changed my limited thinking. I said to myself, ‘if it means my history is going to be like, “Somandla never got admitted for a job but he made it anyway” so be it’.
THE
RIGHT
DECISIONS
Making decisions is not easy as it sounds, but it's very necessary. It is one of the things youths straggle with.
Making decisions is vital for every living being. Everything happening in our lives is as a result of decisions made at some point, be it by you or by someone else. Of course there are certain things we cannot determine; for instance, one’s race or complexion or one’s wish to be on earth forever- nature simply takes its course. However, things like being, rich or poor, sick or healthy, happy or sad, amongst other things, are a direct result of decisions made at some point.
The life of an individual depends on the quality of decisions made, whether consciously or unconsciously. If poor decisions are made, automatically, the quality of life will be poor. On the other hand, good decisions will lead to top quality life. Decisions shape and mold our lives.
Decisions that were made yesterday will affect us today and in the future to come, and those we are making and yet to make, are also a reflection of what our future will be like.
Most of the chaos in the world can be attributed to poor decisions being implemented. If more people make the right decisions, decisions that aren’t at the expense of others, selfless decisions, you’ll find that very few people will be poor, ill or sad.
The one who makes wise decisions attracts joy, happiness, health and wealth.
As one grows, making decisions pertaining to life becomes a personal responsibility. Unfortunately, some are living their lives according to other people’s decisions.
‘IF YOU ARE UNABLE TO MAKE DECISIONS FOR YOURSELF, YOUR LIFE WILL FOLLOW THE PATH CHOSEN BY OTHERS FOR YOU.’
Someone out there is studying a certain program in college or at a university not because he decided to, but because the decision was made for him.
Someone is married, not because he or she chose to get married, but because, peradventure, his or her parents made the decision.
It doesn’t have to be that way. After all, you are the one who is going to live that life, whether good or bad decisions have been made for you, not anyone else. Your life should be a personal responsibility. I’m not implying that external forces like parents, peers or the government shouldn’t interfere. What l mean is, they shouldn’t make the final decision for you. Their views should be presented to you as suggestions not ultimate decisions. It’s good to get some career guidance and advice, but the final decision should be yours to make. Allowing external forces to make final decisions over your life will definitely affect your future.
Imagine having this conversation with someone:
Question: What are you studying?
Response: I’m studying Politics.
Question: What do you want to be in life? (You probe a little farther.)
Response: Actually, I’m not sure.
Question: What inspired you to study politics?
Response: My parents told me l should study that!
It’s a shame that so many people have graduated with degrees they were expected to acquire in spite of their own interests. It’s very good to obey our parents and elders, but they should leave room for us to make the decisions that will determine the course of our lives. In life you shouldn’t do things just because someone close or respected told you to. Do the right things, those which make you happy, but will not have a negative impact on others.
Ask yourself:
What am l passionate about?
Provided there are no limitations at all, what will my life be like?
What kind of car, house, wife or husband, career or friends do l intend to have?
Lastly, how will l achieve all this?
If you were able to provide answers to these questions, you might have already reached the highest level of independence. This is where everything concerning your life is directly under your control. That’s what making your own decisions means.
In this chapter, I will walk you through a few critical areas in life that require careful decision making. Failure to make wise decisions in these areas, will result in complications. Please take note of these things.
Right Decisions About Your Career.
A career is an occupation for which you are trained, and will make a living from. Most importantly, it should be something you enjoy doing, even without benefiting directly from it. For instance, someone might decide to be a soccer player simply because he loves playing soccer, regardless of the fact that he can make a living out of it.
Your question now might be, ‘How do l decide what to pursue as a career?’
I discovered 3 main ways of deciding on a career path, (there could be more).
i. Academics.
The most common way of deciding on a career is by considering an academic qualification. This is particularly true in Africa where it is strongly believed that education is the key to success. This fails to acknowledge the fact that other factors play an important role too.
After so many years in school, one might choose to consider the strength in one subject as over another, hence, the choice of a certain career. For example, one might have a deeper understanding and passion for Economics, resulting in the decision to become an Economist. Another might be great with numbers, hence, becoming a Mathematician or an Accountant.
Education unlocks the potential within. It leads one to the goldmine deep inside.
To become a great Accountant, one has to go through a certain process.
Accounting consists of principles which need to be mastered; this is made possible through the learning process. This is why it’s important to take our academic work seriously. Some gifts are discovered through education; you will never know them until you go to school. However, always remember that getting an education which result in certification is not the only way to make it in life.
ii. Talents
A talent is something innate; it’s something that’s present at birth, and cannot be taken away by anyone. Unlike an acquired skill, a talent cannot be passed from one person to another; it’s God given. In other words it’s natural, it’s inborn -you cannot run away from it. Nonetheless the decision to use it or not, lies with you.
Let’s take singing for instance, when you discover that you have a beautiful voice you may choose to pursue music as a career.
Without mentioning names, there is someone in this world who was profoundly in love with music, both composing
and singing, ever since she was a little girl. She grew up, went to school, and studied some other things, but her talent remained and decided not to sit on it. Now she earns a living from music and is one of the best Gospel artists in the world.
Don’t sit on the talent God blessed you with, use it. Being a natural skill, it’s something you love doing even on a daily basis. Doing it gives you pleasure. Note that l didn’t say what you love doing is your talent.
If you can make a living out of your talent, feel free to do so. Freedom is when you gladly do what you want without restraint. Use your talent for the good of mankind. Do what makes your heart sing.
iii. Passion
Last but not least, a career can be derived from one’s passion for something.
Some people are so passionate about certain things to the extent that they stick to their commitments in spite of the challenges. They find satisfaction in getting things done. Such people stop at nothing, they keep on pushing even when it seems like the whole world is against them.
Passion isn’t directly related to talent, passion seasoned with discipline goes way beyond undisciplined talent.
For instance, one’s passion for football may be sparked simply by watching a talented footballer play the game. Although the skill might not be innate, this passionate person may become the best footballer if the right amount of diligence and discipline are added to his passion. A passionate person doesn’t just look at his or her capabilities, but also believes that anything is possible. He works on his game until it comes out of him naturally.
Many businesses were not established because the founders were educated or extremely talented. Instead, they emerged because the owners were passionate about something. Today, thousands if not millions of businesses have been established because certain individuals held on to their passion. One can be passionate about something, without being educated or talented in that field, but still become very successful.
l am deeply convinced that these three ways are a guide to how one can choose a career wisely- a career that won’t be a burden.
A career should always be based on your interests regardless of the financial reward. It has to be something that you love doing. Don’t let your parents, school authorities, the government, or anyone else choose a career path for you. Accept their advice, acknowledge the career guidance you’re given, but don’t go and study Accounting because that’s what your parents want you to study. I tell you, failure to choose a career wisely will result in that career becoming a burden to you.
Choose Your Career Wisely!
Wise Decisions About Your Associates.
Have you ever asked yourself why you hang around a certain group of people? Why do you hang around with Christians or heathens, drunkards or non-drunkards, successful people or failures, complainers or solution based thinkers?
If you have never asked yourself any of these questions, go on and ask yourself:
Why do l hang around those girls?
Why do l hang around those boys?
Why do l hang around those ladies?
Why do l hang around those gentlemen?
Despite them being good or bad company, the answer is because you have something in common. The way you perceive and believe things is the same. In other words, you are on the same track and on the same page of the book.
‘Birds Of Same Feather Flock Together’
“How can two walk together if they haven’t agreed?”, the Bible says.
Your associates today are your associates because there is a mutual understanding amongst you. Your behavior is influenced by your associates. You do things the way you do because of your associates. You are a product of who you spend much of your time with. The way you do things is because you copied someone, whether, intentionally or unintentionally, consciously or subconsciously.
Good Company
“Do not be so deceived and misled! Evil companionship (communion, associations) corrupt and deprave good manners and morals and character.” 1 Corinthians 15:33 (AMP)
Are you aware of the destruction you bring over your life when you spend much of your time with the wrong people, people who are going nowhere, who do not have any plans for their lives, people who do all sorts of unproductive things?
Even if you don’t enjoy their way of doing things, you will probably end up doing the same. That’s the power of association.
I always give an example of people who swear a lot. In the beginning you’ll be astonished and even ashamed of the abusive language they use. As time goes on you get used to it, you become more tolerant. In the end you find yourself using the same dirty language without giving it a thought.
Keep The Right Associates
Surround yourself with people who add value to your life, people who will make you a better person, people who can propel you to a better future, people who lift you up not drag you down, and people who can give your life meaning.
If you surround yourself with people who are going nowhere in life, the end is certain, you will be a loser. If you surround yourself with winners, you will be a winner as well. The fact is, both failure and success are contagious.
Winners and losers have distinct destinations. This should compel you to surround yourself with sound minds: with people who can challenge you to dream big as well propel you to do more to make the dream a reality.
Knowledge do away with perishability. Knowledge is of great value, words mold a life, and wisdom creates wealth and gives long life. You can never find these from narrow minded people; they will only bring you down.
Eagles fly with other eagles, choose your associates wisely!
Decisions About Who Becomes Your Master.
It’s very important to know who your master is in life. The role of a master is to direct you on the correct way to do certain things and as you learn much of the responsibility to do, the right thing falls on you. The master determines the way you should do things because he knows what’s best.
I suggest you make God your Master. Why?
Simply because no one knows you better than Him. He knew you even before you were in your mother’s womb. He has definite plans for your life. They are not mere plans, they’re plans to prosper you not to fail you. Plans to give you health, plans to give you extraordinary success, plans to give you the best out of life.
God desires to prosper you in every single way, spiritually and physically. However He will never force Himself to be your Master. It’s your decision to make. He is always willing to fill the void. The question is, Will you allow Him to be your Master?
Making God your Master, means living by His Word. It means making a commitment to following what’s said in the scriptures. You must live by the Word, walk the Word, do the Word and speak the Word. Let it consume you because God is the Word (John1:1)and by so doing you would have allowed Him to lead you, you would have created a personal relationship with Him.
What l particularly love about the Word of God is that it contains solutions to every problem; it answers every question. Study the Word and you will find the truth you seek.
John 15:5 says,
“I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me and l in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.”
Without Him, we can do nothing. True success is found only in the Lord, not in anything or anyone else. Self-made success is short-lived. It’s like flowers, their glory is only for a short time after that they wither away. Success from the Lord however, lasts forever. True success comes from the Lord Jesus.
Jesus Christ is the Way; He has the recipe for true success!
Choose your master wisely!
I will dwell more on Jesus Christ in the last chapter.
Decisions About Your Future Partner.
One of the most important decisions one has to make is on who to marry. This is very important because if done wrongly, there may be serious consequences. In a three legged race, your partner determines how fast you run; he or she can lead you to either success or failure. An unhappy marriage is likely going to affect every other sphere of your life.
The decision on who to marry is very important. Many are hoping to be single again so that they can go back and make the right choices. If you are single, don’t rush into marriage, you have enough time to prepare for it.
It’s possible to lead a happy married life, one which is peaceful, only if you let God direct your path.
If you are looking for someone to marry, find someone who loves Jesus even more than she or he loves you. This individual is likely to treat you right because the Word of God shapes a greater part of his or her personality.
Take note, l am not merely talking about church goers. A lot of people go to church for the wrong reasons. Some want to find someone to marry, others just want God to help them out of an immediate problem, some want God to give them riches, yet the reason behind being a Christian is to live for Jesus. For that reason, if you marry someone who goes to church with any other intentions, you’re undoubtedly making a mistake. Jesus gave Himself for us, so that we live for Him. The right person for marriage should be someone who truly loves Jesus.
Before you were born, God had already determined a potential partner for you. He knows the right person for you, but if you don’t listen to Him, you will find yourself in a pool of misery. A marriage which is full of regrets.
Before you choose a partner, you must pray; God will lead you to the right person. The problem with most Christians all around the world is that they choose their partners first, then pray to God to guide them afterwards. Pray for the discernment of the Holy Spirit, and allow God to guide you through. Why would you pray for wisdom from God if you’ve already made the decision? Involve Him first, before you choose, and He will guide you through.
If you make decisions for yourself whilst excluding God, He will just sit back and watch you, just as he did with the Israelites when they demanded for a king, and eventually that marriage will become a problem.
God gave the Israelites Saul to fulfil their desires, he warned them of the consequences but they refused to listen. They rejected God as their King, and God let them have Saul.
Allow God to lead, He knows what’s best for you. He is able to bring the right person to you. Identifying the right person for you will be difficult if God is not involved.
Chapter 7 gives more detail on how best to choose a partner.
My Life Experience.
In my life experience as far as decision making is concerned, I became independent at a younger age. I’m glad my parents awarded me the right to make decisions that seem best to me when l was still a teenager. I do not mean to say they lost grip on me completely, they were always involved whenever l needed correction.
Every academic achievement l have ever attained was based on my decisions. It was my choice to study anything l ever studied. My parents only financed my academic choices, and they never chose for me the career path to follow.
My friends were my friends because l made that choice. Of course when l was still young my parents were concerned about who l should play with. It was when l became a teenager that they left me to make choices about friends. I befriended both good and bad friends who definitely influenced my behaviour. Sometimes we could indulge into some crazy stuff that l never wanted my parents to find out about. The exposure l had through having the right to choose friends has helped me a lot to identify different personalities. The exposure helped me to make a careful selection about who to keep as a friend.
I took a bold step and got rid of every friend that was at my expense. I deleted every friend that never added value to my life and the way l live it. That decision made me lost all my childhood friendships. I was overtaken by the love of God and l chose to follow Him. My childhood friends got carried away by the pleasures of the world. They all got involved into heavy smoking and drinking of beer. I tried to show them the path to follow but they followed not. That’s how we ended up going part ways. The truth is, we were in different worlds. That’s why we had to disband our hands and say good bye. This was a hard decision, but l had to follow it because it was necessary.
I’m grateful to my parents who gave me the right to choose. Even the church l go to, it was based on my decisions.
I understand that sometimes it may result into a destruction when the child become independent of decisions at a younger age. But to me that was not the case, it was for my advantage. Today l’m enjoying the wise decisions l made.
Another interesting decision l made, it was when l was 19 years of age.
Just like any other young person. I expected to get a job soon after l finished high school. When l finished my Advanced levels. I was rejoicing that l was going to get one and take up some responsibilities for myself. I used a lot of money to get my curriculum vitae nicely designed and printed into hard copies. Also, plenty of time l had to commit applying for any job. Unfortunately, l never found one, neither was l called at least for an interview. I was greatly disappointed because my expectation was turned down.
As someone with average grades, l comforted myself and opted to educate myself more. I went on and studied ACCA. In six months time l wrote my first exams and passed with flying colours. I managed to get a Diploma in Accounting and Business. I got financially challenged and l couldn’t continue studying. With my flying colours and a bit more advanced education l attained, l thought it was definite that l will get a job. I did a lot of applications. Just like what happened at first, there was no picture and no sound. I was so hurt especially at this time that l couldn’t pursue my studies because l was financially challenged.
Distressed as l was, the Spirit of God who is alive in me reminded me of the situation in the country. So many people are jobless because of scarcity of jobs. Just a rough estimate, about a ¼ if not less of the population is employed. The rest are unemployed. Most of the unemployed people are educated than l am. Others even have working experience but still couldn’t get any job. Being reminded of the situation, my sorrow disappeared. It’s not because l was rejoicing over the situation in the country, but l realized that God was taking me through a learning process.
Since millions of people are unemployed in the country, this gave me a new mindset of creating jobs for others. I perceived the situation as an opportunity for me to shine. Instead of going around grumbling and complaining about scarcity of jobs just like anybody else, l chose to think of solutions. From that day l took away my mind from getting a job that left a long time ago and it’s coming back is unpredictable. I focused my mind on creating jobs for others not getting one.
On that day the mind of getting a job took off. I made up my mind that l will never look for a job again. This decision made me a brandy new person. I became pregnant with ideas on how l’m going to create employment.
This is a decision that brought a complete revolution and changed my limited thinking. I said to myself, ‘if it means my history is going to be like, “Somandla never got admitted for a job but he made it anyway” so be it’.
Thursday, September 12, 2019
Plan Your Life. Have Goals.
Though life is a voyage of uncertainty, planning smoothens it. A plan is a strategy to achieve a set goal. In order to plan there is need for a goal. An organised person does not live life anyhow, but has goals to achieve. A goal is a destination of something planned to achieve; it is the place designated as the end. Living a life without a goal or goals, is like living and empty life; a life actually going nowhere. There are a lot of pressures in life, but don’t be tossed to and fro by them. Be led by your set goals to achieve your dreams.
“Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.”(Proverbs 16:3 NIV)
God is willing to help us make our plans a success if we commit them to Him. As long as our plans are not evil, by committing them to the Almighty our steps will be guided on the path to follow until we reach the beautiful end of it. What is it that is going to happen to a man or woman without a plan for life? What then is to be committed to the Lord?
The Bible says, “Where there is no vision, the people perish...” Proverbs 29:18. Without a vision, goal, for life, you will be heading nowhere. They say, “failure to plan is planning to fail”. Be visionary about your life. Be able to picture out what your life should be in years to come, then do whatever right and necessary to make that beautiful picture a reality. Focus, discipline and diligence, are the keys to achieve anything in the right way.
Having a goal about life does not guarantee its achievement. They say, “A goal properly set is halfway reached”. Having a goal gives a sense of direction. By having a direction, it will be easy to follow through. To fully achieve a goal there is a process that needs to be followed with patience, diligence and discipline. Achieving a goal is a journey on its own. How the journey begins matters, but how it goes and how it ends matters most.
I believe everyone has dreams. Everyone wants to live well, happy, satisfied, healthy and prosperous. The problem is, we have so many dreamers, but very few are willing to go through the process of actualising those dreams. So many will never start, some will end as soon as the journey begins, others will stop halfway through, and few will reach their destinations.
Those who will never start.
These are people who keep on procrastinating. No matter how passionate they are, they never seem to start. The reason being whenever they feel like starting, indiscipline stops them causing them to give excuses each time.
Those who end as soon as they begin.
These are people who would love to enjoy the end result of doing something useful, but are unwilling to go through the entire process. As a result they stop before getting to the end. These people are afraid of taking the risk following a decision to change. According to them, everything should be provided on a silver platter without them having to put any effort. That’s their ideal lifestyle.
Those who stop halfway through.
These are people who desire to accomplish something so badly. However they fail to keep the momentum and that’s why they stop before they get to the end. They come across obstacles midway, and they believe that’s the end of the road. They fail to embrace the pain, hence giving up. They get so limited by their minds and cannot think through the problem and come up with new avenues. Therefore, before they get there, they find themselves at the starting point.
Those who reach their destination.
These are disciplined people who stop at nothing to achieve their goals. They do what is necessary no matter how challenging it appears to be.
Though life is a voyage of uncertainty, planning smoothens it. A plan is a strategy to achieve a set goal. In order to plan there is need for a goal. An organised person does not live life anyhow, but has goals to achieve. A goal is a destination of something planned to achieve; it is the place designated as the end. Living a life without a goal or goals, is like living and empty life; a life actually going nowhere. There are a lot of pressures in life, but don’t be tossed to and fro by them. Be led by your set goals to achieve your dreams.
“Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.”(Proverbs 16:3 NIV)
God is willing to help us make our plans a success if we commit them to Him. As long as our plans are not evil, by committing them to the Almighty our steps will be guided on the path to follow until we reach the beautiful end of it. What is it that is going to happen to a man or woman without a plan for life? What then is to be committed to the Lord?
The Bible says, “Where there is no vision, the people perish...” Proverbs 29:18. Without a vision, goal, for life, you will be heading nowhere. They say, “failure to plan is planning to fail”. Be visionary about your life. Be able to picture out what your life should be in years to come, then do whatever right and necessary to make that beautiful picture a reality. Focus, discipline and diligence, are the keys to achieve anything in the right way.
Having a goal about life does not guarantee its achievement. They say, “A goal properly set is halfway reached”. Having a goal gives a sense of direction. By having a direction, it will be easy to follow through. To fully achieve a goal there is a process that needs to be followed with patience, diligence and discipline. Achieving a goal is a journey on its own. How the journey begins matters, but how it goes and how it ends matters most.
I believe everyone has dreams. Everyone wants to live well, happy, satisfied, healthy and prosperous. The problem is, we have so many dreamers, but very few are willing to go through the process of actualising those dreams. So many will never start, some will end as soon as the journey begins, others will stop halfway through, and few will reach their destinations.
Those who will never start.
These are people who keep on procrastinating. No matter how passionate they are, they never seem to start. The reason being whenever they feel like starting, indiscipline stops them causing them to give excuses each time.
Those who end as soon as they begin.
These are people who would love to enjoy the end result of doing something useful, but are unwilling to go through the entire process. As a result they stop before getting to the end. These people are afraid of taking the risk following a decision to change. According to them, everything should be provided on a silver platter without them having to put any effort. That’s their ideal lifestyle.
Those who stop halfway through.
These are people who desire to accomplish something so badly. However they fail to keep the momentum and that’s why they stop before they get to the end. They come across obstacles midway, and they believe that’s the end of the road. They fail to embrace the pain, hence giving up. They get so limited by their minds and cannot think through the problem and come up with new avenues. Therefore, before they get there, they find themselves at the starting point.
Those who reach their destination.
These are disciplined people who stop at nothing to achieve their goals. They do what is necessary no matter how challenging it appears to be.
Which one are you?
Wednesday, September 11, 2019
Life
LIFE
First we need to understand what life really is and how it came into existence, then learn how to live it well.
Life is a gift from God. It is not an accident, neither is it a mistake. It is a purpose that needs to be fulfilled. God said to Jeremiah, “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou comest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee...” (Jeremiah 1:5). God knew Jeremiah before his parents thought of having a baby. When God formed him in his mother’s womb, He then sanctified him to be His prophet at the appointed time. The same happens with every human being. God knew everyone of us before anyone else, He then formed and sanctified each one of us for different purposes. It took God’s intervention for every living being to be created, but it’s up to you to fulfil your purpose. It doesn’t matter one’s race, colour of the skin, country, parents, gender. You were born at this appointed time, in that family, of that race, in that country, the way you are, only to fulfil your purpose in life. Nobody made a choice of being given birth to, but we have reasons to live.
Life came into existence here on earth when God shared His life with humans whom He created from the dust. We see this in Genesis 2:7:
“And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.”
After God created the heaven and the earth. He replenished the earth with grass, herb yielding seed, tree yielding fruit, and all the living creatures, both in water and those that creeps on earth. Everything in existence today was already created, but there was one thing that was not yet created. The human being. The creature with the same image of God. In other words, the look alike of God. As it is written in Genesis 1:26,
“And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepers upon the earth.”
This is how the special creature was created. Human beings were created with dominion over everything God created. Our existence came with a task unlike other creatures. That’s why God made us in His own image and breathed His life in us through the nostrils, so that we can run the earth in the right and orderly manner as He run the spiritual world. That’s how life came into existence. The preceding chapters will explain how best to live this God-given life.
Uncertainty of life.
Using the human mind, life is full of uncertainty. Life happens! That’s why it is strongly believed that life is a journey of uncertainty. Nobody really knows the future, unless it has been revealed to the individual by God. The Bible says, He knows the plans He has for everyone’s life (Jeremiah 29:11).
A plan looks forward not backward. It focuses on the future not the past. God says ‘l know the plans l have for you'. This is proof that He knows everybody’s future. Through the Holy Spirit who resides in us and the Word of God, we are able to see the picture of what tomorrow will bring. He knows everything.
Though life is full of uncertainty, using our human minds, there is still need to plan for it. Planning gives a sense of direction; it helps one know what to do, how to do it and when to do it.
As we go through the journey of life, we must be conscious of the fact that challenges will come our way. That means, it’s not because one is a good or bad person, challenges come to everyone. Your response towards these challenges is what matters.
Are you going to cry when troubles come, or are you going to choose to find the hidden opportunities within these challenges?
Are you going to complain and grumble, or are you going to think of solutions?
Every challenge that comes your way has a solution, so are you going to find the solution or are you going to sit back and watch it treat you anyhow?
To winners, challenges are promotions in disguise. They are bread to eat . In life, no challenge is too big to handle. Jesus never promised us a life without challenges. He too went through them when He was on earth. What He promised us is victory in every way: left, right and center. That’s why the Bible says “Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us”. (Romans 8:37).
This is the reason why we shouldn’t cry when faced with different challenges, but rather rejoice for the victory is ours in the end. (James 1:2). We only need to follow the right course.
1 Corinthians 10:13 (Good news Bible) says,
“Every test that you experience is the kind that normally comes to people. But God keeps his promise, and he will not allow you to be tested beyond your power to remain firm; at the time you are put to test, he will give you the strength to endure it, and so provide you with a way out.”
From the scripture above, it is clear that there is no challenge considered new under the sun. Somebody somewhere went through or is actually going through the same pain. Besides not being new, it will never be beyond your power to remain firm.
When you seek the right solutions to life’s challenges, the end is certain; you will be on the winning side. These solutions aren’t the kind human beings, be it the government or parents can give you. They are found in the Word of God.
First we need to understand what life really is and how it came into existence, then learn how to live it well.
Life is a gift from God. It is not an accident, neither is it a mistake. It is a purpose that needs to be fulfilled. God said to Jeremiah, “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou comest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee...” (Jeremiah 1:5). God knew Jeremiah before his parents thought of having a baby. When God formed him in his mother’s womb, He then sanctified him to be His prophet at the appointed time. The same happens with every human being. God knew everyone of us before anyone else, He then formed and sanctified each one of us for different purposes. It took God’s intervention for every living being to be created, but it’s up to you to fulfil your purpose. It doesn’t matter one’s race, colour of the skin, country, parents, gender. You were born at this appointed time, in that family, of that race, in that country, the way you are, only to fulfil your purpose in life. Nobody made a choice of being given birth to, but we have reasons to live.
Life came into existence here on earth when God shared His life with humans whom He created from the dust. We see this in Genesis 2:7:
“And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.”
After God created the heaven and the earth. He replenished the earth with grass, herb yielding seed, tree yielding fruit, and all the living creatures, both in water and those that creeps on earth. Everything in existence today was already created, but there was one thing that was not yet created. The human being. The creature with the same image of God. In other words, the look alike of God. As it is written in Genesis 1:26,
“And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepers upon the earth.”
This is how the special creature was created. Human beings were created with dominion over everything God created. Our existence came with a task unlike other creatures. That’s why God made us in His own image and breathed His life in us through the nostrils, so that we can run the earth in the right and orderly manner as He run the spiritual world. That’s how life came into existence. The preceding chapters will explain how best to live this God-given life.
Uncertainty of life.
Using the human mind, life is full of uncertainty. Life happens! That’s why it is strongly believed that life is a journey of uncertainty. Nobody really knows the future, unless it has been revealed to the individual by God. The Bible says, He knows the plans He has for everyone’s life (Jeremiah 29:11).
A plan looks forward not backward. It focuses on the future not the past. God says ‘l know the plans l have for you'. This is proof that He knows everybody’s future. Through the Holy Spirit who resides in us and the Word of God, we are able to see the picture of what tomorrow will bring. He knows everything.
Though life is full of uncertainty, using our human minds, there is still need to plan for it. Planning gives a sense of direction; it helps one know what to do, how to do it and when to do it.
As we go through the journey of life, we must be conscious of the fact that challenges will come our way. That means, it’s not because one is a good or bad person, challenges come to everyone. Your response towards these challenges is what matters.
Are you going to cry when troubles come, or are you going to choose to find the hidden opportunities within these challenges?
Are you going to complain and grumble, or are you going to think of solutions?
Every challenge that comes your way has a solution, so are you going to find the solution or are you going to sit back and watch it treat you anyhow?
To winners, challenges are promotions in disguise. They are bread to eat . In life, no challenge is too big to handle. Jesus never promised us a life without challenges. He too went through them when He was on earth. What He promised us is victory in every way: left, right and center. That’s why the Bible says “Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us”. (Romans 8:37).
This is the reason why we shouldn’t cry when faced with different challenges, but rather rejoice for the victory is ours in the end. (James 1:2). We only need to follow the right course.
1 Corinthians 10:13 (Good news Bible) says,
“Every test that you experience is the kind that normally comes to people. But God keeps his promise, and he will not allow you to be tested beyond your power to remain firm; at the time you are put to test, he will give you the strength to endure it, and so provide you with a way out.”
From the scripture above, it is clear that there is no challenge considered new under the sun. Somebody somewhere went through or is actually going through the same pain. Besides not being new, it will never be beyond your power to remain firm.
When you seek the right solutions to life’s challenges, the end is certain; you will be on the winning side. These solutions aren’t the kind human beings, be it the government or parents can give you. They are found in the Word of God.
Sunday, July 21, 2019
.Problems Youths Face
Date: 22 July 2019
Problem: Courtship relationship problems.
Article by: Somandla Ndlovu
In today’s article, we are going to be talking about a relationship which is known as a courtship. “ A courtship is a relationship between two unmarried people, a lady and a gentleman. It’s a foundation they lay for marriage as they get to know each other better before they ultimately get married. It does not involve indulging into sexual activities, for this is reserved for the right time, i.e. when they get married.”(Somandla Ndlovu)
In every courtship relationship, there are so many problems that the two love-birds will definitely face. The good thing is, the problems can be solved, even though most of them can be unavoidable especially at the early stage of it. Some of them are so critical because they are so sensitive. Those ones are difficult to solve, and might put a demise to a courtship.
Though there are myriads of problems any two people in love are guaranteed to face, I will try to group them under two major groups that I’m convinced they lie under. The problems might be “trivial” or “sensitive/serious”
Sensitive Problems (cheating).
Sensitive problems can greatly affect any relationship. They are a result of cheating. Being a cheat does not only mean having extra courtship(s). A cheat is a coward person. Someone who pretends to be doing what is right. Someone who gets trusted yet is not trustworthy. For instance, one will be busy loving the other part, yet the loved part cannot return the love back, but rather pretend to be busy loving back. Imagine sacrificing everything, being faithful and committing everything to the one you love and that person does not see it neither appreciate it, but rather pretend to love you back. Being in such kind of a courtship, you are busy loving a cheat.
What is love?
Love is a doing word. It’s a word that should be accompanied by actions. It’s not enough to say ‘I love you’ and not act accordingly.
John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world, that He gave...”
Notice the scripture, not only did God loved, but He accompanied His love by giving. He proved His love beyond reasonable doubt.
Love is a commitment which involves a lot of sacrificing from both sides. True love is not selfish, it puts others first before itself. It sacrifices, supports, trusts, understands. Someone who truly loves you does not need to be asked. A loving person is seen by actions not by word of mouth.
The other important thing about a relationship is that it is a two way traffic. It does not look upon one person. Ladies get to think that it’s the gents who have got to love them, but that’s a terrible mistake. It’s not one part trying to love the other, but both parts loving each other. Ladies usually think they are too special therefore they should be loved. Guys are special too and they deserve to be loved back. If they don’t feel loved, they easily give up and look for someone better; someone who deserve to be loved.
If you have found yourself in a relationship with someone who only thinks of herself/himself; Someone who only ask for things from you, but cannot be able to give you anything as well as a token of love. I assure you that you are trying to push a mountain which is bigger than you. You cannot even shake it. You are more like a person who plough a field and sow seeds, then someone who never helped you comes and harvest and leave you with nothing. You are busy trying to work out a relationship with a cheat, that I can assure you will never work because it’s one way traffic.
Always remember, love is not selfish, it puts others first before itself. Your so-called ‘love-bird’ should be able to be humble enough to put you first before herself or himself, as you will be doing the same. Lack of selflessness in a relationship means that relationship is not built on love, but on hidden lies. Either one or both of you are cowards. Furthering this courtship into a marriage will make it hard for both of you.
Trivial Problems (Differences).
Trivial matters are usually a result of differences between two people courting. A courtship is a relationship based on mutual agreement between two people coming from different backgrounds, maybe coming from different societies, and having different views, goals, exposure, understanding, expectations, and sometimes even religions. Most trivial issues result from differences which are influenced by many things from our background. If two love-birds are to be raised by the same parents, in the same society and have the same friends, their differences will be minimised, and this will as well minimise trivial problems.
Being able to understand the fact that people have differences, it will help the two people in love to be patient with each other so as to learn what each of them likes and dislikes. In every relationship it’s normal that people quarrel, hurt each other and have misunderstandings. What is important now is, how one responds to such pressure. If the pressure doesn’t get handled well, it will turn a trivial matter into a serious issue. It takes humility for one part to admit his/her mistakes and faults to the other part. It’s hard for someone with pride to understand when one wrongs him/her or to admit when he/she is at fault. Pride makes one to feel like he/she is always right. That’s why it’s hard for stonehearted people to admit they are wrong when they are at fault; humility keeps the love burning.
The reason for a relationship is to bring two totally different people together and integrate so as to have one married life. Along the way of courtship, even in marriage, they are misunderstandings because of the differences. A courtship relationship should exist to resolve those differences. When one part is at fault, he/she should admit it, and the other part should be quick to understand and forgive. Nobody is perfect. One’s weakness might be another’s strength. On the other hand one’s strength might be another’s weakness. Being in love is all about trying to make each other perfect. Be patient with each other, and be eager to learn more about your partner; get to know his/her weakness and strength and resolve problems.
A courtship relationship is not about romancing: that is reserved for marriage. A lot are indulging into sexual activities. The truth is there is time for that, and doing it outside marriage is wrong. Fornication is an evil act and God is never pleased with that. That is the major reason we should abstain from sexual activities. Besides being wrong in the eyes of God, abstaining from fornication saves the one who does that from devastating consequences. Unwanted pregnancies, early marriages that can hardly survive, and STIs are a result of fornication. The sad part is, mostly girls becomes the victims. They will walk through the storm alone and the responsible young man will be trying to run away. One part will suffer a lot yet it took two to enjoy themselves as they thought.
Never take advantage of the courtship to experiment. It’s not a leeway for that. A courtship should be kept sacred, just as marriage is. Yes it is that important. There is time for everything; the Bible says. Be patient enough to save the gift of marriage, “sexual intercourse” for the one you will marry.
Imagine yourself you get married today. At the honey moon night, your partner tell you the following words:
“I have never slept with anyone, not because I never had the chance to do so. I hardly kept my virginity for all these many years to present it as a special and best gift to you on a night like this. For once and for all, I present my best gift to you my love. Unrape it and take it all. I reserved it only for you and you alone. Enjoy.”
What will you do being conscious that you unleashed the same kind of gift to someone else?
Are you going to rejoice that you found someone who reserved that gift only for you yet you didn’t do the same or it’s going to be the other way round?
My request is that you should not give away yourself for intercourse during the time of courtship. Otherwise, you will suffer the consequences. Remember God is not applauding for you when fornicating and it’s never going to benefit you anything, but cost you.
Maybe you have done it already or still doing it out of ignorance. I’m kindly asking you to stop and save your life from that snare. Ask God to cleanse you and stop fornicating. Wait until you officially get married. Nobody will accuse you of having intercourse with the one you are married to. Save intercourse as a sweet gift to your future partner.
Do you have any question, suggestions or problems you would want us to discuss?
Send you comment or contact me on:
+263 776 593 283
Or send an email to:
somandlandlovu96@gmail.com
Don't forget to share with others.
Date: 22 July 2019
Problem: Courtship relationship problems.
Article by: Somandla Ndlovu
In today’s article, we are going to be talking about a relationship which is known as a courtship. “ A courtship is a relationship between two unmarried people, a lady and a gentleman. It’s a foundation they lay for marriage as they get to know each other better before they ultimately get married. It does not involve indulging into sexual activities, for this is reserved for the right time, i.e. when they get married.”(Somandla Ndlovu)
In every courtship relationship, there are so many problems that the two love-birds will definitely face. The good thing is, the problems can be solved, even though most of them can be unavoidable especially at the early stage of it. Some of them are so critical because they are so sensitive. Those ones are difficult to solve, and might put a demise to a courtship.
Though there are myriads of problems any two people in love are guaranteed to face, I will try to group them under two major groups that I’m convinced they lie under. The problems might be “trivial” or “sensitive/serious”
Sensitive Problems (cheating).
Sensitive problems can greatly affect any relationship. They are a result of cheating. Being a cheat does not only mean having extra courtship(s). A cheat is a coward person. Someone who pretends to be doing what is right. Someone who gets trusted yet is not trustworthy. For instance, one will be busy loving the other part, yet the loved part cannot return the love back, but rather pretend to be busy loving back. Imagine sacrificing everything, being faithful and committing everything to the one you love and that person does not see it neither appreciate it, but rather pretend to love you back. Being in such kind of a courtship, you are busy loving a cheat.
What is love?
Love is a doing word. It’s a word that should be accompanied by actions. It’s not enough to say ‘I love you’ and not act accordingly.
John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world, that He gave...”
Notice the scripture, not only did God loved, but He accompanied His love by giving. He proved His love beyond reasonable doubt.
Love is a commitment which involves a lot of sacrificing from both sides. True love is not selfish, it puts others first before itself. It sacrifices, supports, trusts, understands. Someone who truly loves you does not need to be asked. A loving person is seen by actions not by word of mouth.
The other important thing about a relationship is that it is a two way traffic. It does not look upon one person. Ladies get to think that it’s the gents who have got to love them, but that’s a terrible mistake. It’s not one part trying to love the other, but both parts loving each other. Ladies usually think they are too special therefore they should be loved. Guys are special too and they deserve to be loved back. If they don’t feel loved, they easily give up and look for someone better; someone who deserve to be loved.
If you have found yourself in a relationship with someone who only thinks of herself/himself; Someone who only ask for things from you, but cannot be able to give you anything as well as a token of love. I assure you that you are trying to push a mountain which is bigger than you. You cannot even shake it. You are more like a person who plough a field and sow seeds, then someone who never helped you comes and harvest and leave you with nothing. You are busy trying to work out a relationship with a cheat, that I can assure you will never work because it’s one way traffic.
Always remember, love is not selfish, it puts others first before itself. Your so-called ‘love-bird’ should be able to be humble enough to put you first before herself or himself, as you will be doing the same. Lack of selflessness in a relationship means that relationship is not built on love, but on hidden lies. Either one or both of you are cowards. Furthering this courtship into a marriage will make it hard for both of you.
Trivial Problems (Differences).
Trivial matters are usually a result of differences between two people courting. A courtship is a relationship based on mutual agreement between two people coming from different backgrounds, maybe coming from different societies, and having different views, goals, exposure, understanding, expectations, and sometimes even religions. Most trivial issues result from differences which are influenced by many things from our background. If two love-birds are to be raised by the same parents, in the same society and have the same friends, their differences will be minimised, and this will as well minimise trivial problems.
Being able to understand the fact that people have differences, it will help the two people in love to be patient with each other so as to learn what each of them likes and dislikes. In every relationship it’s normal that people quarrel, hurt each other and have misunderstandings. What is important now is, how one responds to such pressure. If the pressure doesn’t get handled well, it will turn a trivial matter into a serious issue. It takes humility for one part to admit his/her mistakes and faults to the other part. It’s hard for someone with pride to understand when one wrongs him/her or to admit when he/she is at fault. Pride makes one to feel like he/she is always right. That’s why it’s hard for stonehearted people to admit they are wrong when they are at fault; humility keeps the love burning.
The reason for a relationship is to bring two totally different people together and integrate so as to have one married life. Along the way of courtship, even in marriage, they are misunderstandings because of the differences. A courtship relationship should exist to resolve those differences. When one part is at fault, he/she should admit it, and the other part should be quick to understand and forgive. Nobody is perfect. One’s weakness might be another’s strength. On the other hand one’s strength might be another’s weakness. Being in love is all about trying to make each other perfect. Be patient with each other, and be eager to learn more about your partner; get to know his/her weakness and strength and resolve problems.
A courtship relationship is not about romancing: that is reserved for marriage. A lot are indulging into sexual activities. The truth is there is time for that, and doing it outside marriage is wrong. Fornication is an evil act and God is never pleased with that. That is the major reason we should abstain from sexual activities. Besides being wrong in the eyes of God, abstaining from fornication saves the one who does that from devastating consequences. Unwanted pregnancies, early marriages that can hardly survive, and STIs are a result of fornication. The sad part is, mostly girls becomes the victims. They will walk through the storm alone and the responsible young man will be trying to run away. One part will suffer a lot yet it took two to enjoy themselves as they thought.
Never take advantage of the courtship to experiment. It’s not a leeway for that. A courtship should be kept sacred, just as marriage is. Yes it is that important. There is time for everything; the Bible says. Be patient enough to save the gift of marriage, “sexual intercourse” for the one you will marry.
Imagine yourself you get married today. At the honey moon night, your partner tell you the following words:
“I have never slept with anyone, not because I never had the chance to do so. I hardly kept my virginity for all these many years to present it as a special and best gift to you on a night like this. For once and for all, I present my best gift to you my love. Unrape it and take it all. I reserved it only for you and you alone. Enjoy.”
What will you do being conscious that you unleashed the same kind of gift to someone else?
Are you going to rejoice that you found someone who reserved that gift only for you yet you didn’t do the same or it’s going to be the other way round?
My request is that you should not give away yourself for intercourse during the time of courtship. Otherwise, you will suffer the consequences. Remember God is not applauding for you when fornicating and it’s never going to benefit you anything, but cost you.
Maybe you have done it already or still doing it out of ignorance. I’m kindly asking you to stop and save your life from that snare. Ask God to cleanse you and stop fornicating. Wait until you officially get married. Nobody will accuse you of having intercourse with the one you are married to. Save intercourse as a sweet gift to your future partner.
Do you have any question, suggestions or problems you would want us to discuss?
Send you comment or contact me on:
+263 776 593 283
Or send an email to:
somandlandlovu96@gmail.com
Don't forget to share with others.
Wednesday, July 17, 2019
Bivvy
Author: Somandla Ndlovu
Growing up, we have always been told that things are going to be okay someday. We never experienced what it means to have a better life. Most of us have lived an average life. You know what it means living an average life here in Zimbabwe. Being average here is equivalent to being poor in another countries. Our parents have been going through a lot trying to make end meets, but all they can do is to fight for survival.
Now we are growing up. Nothing has changed. We happen to be the future of tomorrow. Our motherland depends on us to produce the best of fruits. We got ourselves educated. We had sleepless night studying hard hoping for a better tomorrow. We have chosen careers with so much faith that someday we will get jobs of our choice. Now tomorrow has come, there ain't no job to be found. Industries are shutting down. Our elders are losing jobs. And our certificates are only for display.
So many of our youths spend time doing nothing. Roaming around the streets has become their daily routine. A lot engaged into harmful activities; drugs, theft etc cetera. It's not because they can't do nothing, but they are hopeless. It's not like they are good for nothing, but they have got whatever it takes to have any job in the world. Only that they ain't no opportunities.
Every year thousands of students graduate from universities. With so much excitement some will even hold parties, but without knowing, it's a party to go and sit by the bridge. What option do they have, nothing. The existing companies ask for many years of experience to fill in the void vacancies. Where on earth would they expect us to have attained the experience? It's all vanity. There is a lot of crying in Zimbabwe. Tears are flowing inside. Every young man really wants to live a better life.
Believe Me You, There Is Hope For The Future!
There is a way to make it here in Zimbabwe. So many are enjoying success while in this country. The same can happen with you. It all begins within your mind. The mind of a human being is the instrument for change. That's why the Bible edges us to renew our minds for transformation.( Romans 12:2).
Our minds inherited some information that was not meant for us. That's why so many of us are stuck today. We have been told that we should go to school; attain high grades; and get the best job in some big companies. Not even once have we been told that we can create employment for others.
The most important thing in ones life is not having a job. The idea of having a job has made many stuck, waiting for a job that might not even come. Who on earth do you expect to create employment for you? Is that person more superior that you? What exactly that person have that you don't have?
I believe you have the mind to think through a problem and render solutions to it. Your problem today is not lack of unemployment, but failure to use your mind to make fortunes from it.
The most important thing in ones life is his/her gift. One can make fortunes out of the gift.
Unemployment has become the major problem here in Zimbabwe.
JhvvProblem title: Unemployment
Date: 12/07/2019Author: Somandla Ndlovu
Growing up, we have always been told that things are going to be okay someday. We never experienced what it means to have a better life. Most of us have lived an average life. You know what it means living an average life here in Zimbabwe. Being average here is equivalent to being poor in another countries. Our parents have been going through a lot trying to make end meets, but all they can do is to fight for survival.
Now we are growing up. Nothing has changed. We happen to be the future of tomorrow. Our motherland depends on us to produce the best of fruits. We got ourselves educated. We had sleepless night studying hard hoping for a better tomorrow. We have chosen careers with so much faith that someday we will get jobs of our choice. Now tomorrow has come, there ain't no job to be found. Industries are shutting down. Our elders are losing jobs. And our certificates are only for display.
So many of our youths spend time doing nothing. Roaming around the streets has become their daily routine. A lot engaged into harmful activities; drugs, theft etc cetera. It's not because they can't do nothing, but they are hopeless. It's not like they are good for nothing, but they have got whatever it takes to have any job in the world. Only that they ain't no opportunities.
Every year thousands of students graduate from universities. With so much excitement some will even hold parties, but without knowing, it's a party to go and sit by the bridge. What option do they have, nothing. The existing companies ask for many years of experience to fill in the void vacancies. Where on earth would they expect us to have attained the experience? It's all vanity. There is a lot of crying in Zimbabwe. Tears are flowing inside. Every young man really wants to live a better life.
Believe Me You, There Is Hope For The Future!
There is a way to make it here in Zimbabwe. So many are enjoying success while in this country. The same can happen with you. It all begins within your mind. The mind of a human being is the instrument for change. That's why the Bible edges us to renew our minds for transformation.( Romans 12:2).
Our minds inherited some information that was not meant for us. That's why so many of us are stuck today. We have been told that we should go to school; attain high grades; and get the best job in some big companies. Not even once have we been told that we can create employment for others.
The most important thing in ones life is not having a job. The idea of having a job has made many stuck, waiting for a job that might not even come. Who on earth do you expect to create employment for you? Is that person more superior that you? What exactly that person have that you don't have?
I believe you have the mind to think through a problem and render solutions to it. Your problem today is not lack of unemployment, but failure to use your mind to make fortunes from it.
The most important thing in ones life is his/her gift. One can make fortunes out of the gift.
Unemployment has become the major problem here in Zimbabwe.
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