Sunday, July 21, 2019

.Problems Youths Face

 Date: 22 July 2019
Problem: Courtship relationship problems.
Article by: Somandla Ndlovu



In today’s article, we are going to be talking about a relationship which is known as a courtship. “ A courtship is a relationship between two unmarried people, a lady and a gentleman. It’s a foundation they lay for marriage as they get to know each other better before they ultimately get married. It does not involve indulging into sexual activities, for this is reserved for the right time, i.e. when they get married.”(Somandla Ndlovu)

In every courtship relationship, there are so many problems that the two love-birds will definitely face. The good thing is, the problems can be solved, even though most of them can be unavoidable especially at the early stage of it. Some of them are so critical because they are so sensitive. Those ones are difficult to solve, and might put a demise to a courtship.
Though there are myriads of problems any two people in love are guaranteed to face, I will try to group them under two major groups that I’m convinced they lie under. The problems might be “trivial” or “sensitive/serious”

Sensitive Problems (cheating).
Sensitive problems can greatly affect any relationship. They are a result of cheating. Being a cheat does not only mean having extra courtship(s).  A cheat is a coward person. Someone who pretends to be doing what is right. Someone who gets trusted yet is not trustworthy.  For instance, one will be busy loving the other part, yet the loved part cannot return the love back, but rather pretend to be busy loving back. Imagine sacrificing everything, being faithful and committing everything to the one you love and that person does not see it neither appreciate it, but rather pretend to love you back. Being in such kind of a courtship, you are busy loving a cheat.

What is love?
Love is a doing word. It’s a word that should be accompanied by actions. It’s not enough to say ‘I love you’ and not act accordingly.
John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world, that He gave...”
Notice the scripture,  not only did God loved, but He accompanied His love by giving. He proved His love beyond reasonable doubt.

Love is a commitment which involves a lot of sacrificing from both sides. True love is not selfish, it puts others first before itself. It sacrifices, supports, trusts, understands. Someone who truly loves you does not need to be asked. A loving person is seen by actions not by word of mouth.
The other important thing about a relationship is that it is a two way traffic. It does not look upon one person. Ladies get to think that it’s the gents who have got to love them, but that’s a terrible mistake. It’s not one part trying to love the other, but both parts loving each other. Ladies usually think they are too special therefore they should be loved. Guys are special too and they deserve to be loved back. If they don’t feel loved, they easily give up and look for someone better; someone who deserve to be loved.

If you have found yourself in a relationship with someone who only thinks of herself/himself; Someone who only ask for things from you, but cannot be able to give you anything as well as a token of love. I assure you that you are trying to push a mountain which is bigger than you. You cannot even shake it. You are more like a person who plough a field and sow seeds, then someone who never helped you comes and harvest and leave you with nothing. You are busy trying to work out a relationship with a cheat, that I can assure you will never work because it’s one way traffic.

Always remember, love is not selfish,  it puts others first before itself. Your so-called ‘love-bird’ should be able to be humble enough to put you first before herself or himself, as you will be doing the same. Lack of selflessness in a relationship means that relationship is not built on love, but on hidden lies. Either one or both of you are cowards. Furthering this courtship into a marriage will make it hard for both of you.


Trivial Problems (Differences).

Trivial matters are usually a result of differences between two people courting. A courtship is a relationship based on mutual agreement between two people coming from different backgrounds, maybe coming from different societies, and having different views, goals, exposure, understanding, expectations, and sometimes even religions. Most trivial issues result from differences which are influenced by many things from our background. If two love-birds are to be raised by the same parents, in the same society and have the same friends, their differences will be minimised, and this will as well minimise trivial problems.

Being able to understand the fact that people have differences, it will help the two people in love to be patient with each other so as to learn what each of them likes and dislikes. In every relationship it’s normal that people quarrel,  hurt each other and have misunderstandings. What is important now is, how one responds to such pressure. If the pressure doesn’t get handled well, it will turn a trivial matter into a serious issue. It takes humility for one part to admit his/her mistakes and faults to the other part. It’s hard for someone with pride to understand when one wrongs him/her or to admit when he/she is at fault. Pride makes one to feel like he/she is always right. That’s why it’s hard for stonehearted people to admit they are wrong when they are at fault; humility keeps the love burning.

The reason for a relationship is to bring two totally different people together and integrate so as to have one married life. Along the way of courtship, even in marriage, they are misunderstandings because of the differences. A courtship relationship should exist to resolve those differences. When one part is at fault, he/she should admit it, and the other part should be quick to understand and forgive. Nobody is perfect. One’s weakness might be another’s strength. On the other hand one’s strength might be another’s weakness. Being in love is all about trying to make each other perfect. Be patient with each other, and be eager to learn more about your partner; get to know his/her weakness and strength and resolve problems.

A courtship relationship is not about romancing: that is reserved for marriage. A lot are indulging into sexual activities. The truth is there is time for that, and doing it outside marriage is wrong. Fornication is an evil act and God is never pleased with that. That is the major reason we should abstain from sexual activities.  Besides being wrong in the eyes of God, abstaining from fornication saves the one who does that from devastating consequences. Unwanted pregnancies,  early marriages that can hardly survive, and STIs are a result of fornication. The sad part is, mostly girls becomes the victims. They will walk through the storm alone and the responsible young man will be trying to run away. One part will suffer a lot yet it took two to enjoy themselves as they thought.

Never take advantage of the courtship to experiment.  It’s not a leeway for that. A courtship should be kept sacred, just as marriage is. Yes it is that important.  There is time for everything; the Bible says. Be patient enough to save the gift of marriage, “sexual intercourse” for the one you will marry.

Imagine yourself you get married today. At the honey moon night, your partner tell you the following words:
“I have never slept with anyone, not because I never had the chance to do so. I hardly kept my virginity for all these many years to present it as a special and best gift to you on a night like this. For once and for all, I present my best gift to you my love. Unrape it and take it all. I reserved it only for you and you alone. Enjoy.”

What will you do being conscious that you unleashed the same kind of gift to someone else?
Are you going to rejoice that you found someone who reserved that gift only for you yet you didn’t do the same or it’s going to be the other way round?

My request is that you should not give away yourself for intercourse during the time of courtship. Otherwise,  you will suffer the consequences. Remember God is not applauding for you when fornicating and it’s never going to benefit you anything, but cost you.

Maybe you have done it already or still doing it out of ignorance. I’m kindly asking you to stop and save your life from that snare. Ask God to cleanse you and stop fornicating. Wait until you officially get married. Nobody will accuse you of having intercourse with the one you are married to. Save intercourse as a sweet gift to your future partner.



Do you have any question, suggestions or problems you would want us to discuss?
Send you comment or contact me on:
+263 776 593 283
 Or send an email to:
somandlandlovu96@gmail.com

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Wednesday, July 17, 2019

Bivvy
JhvvProblem title: Unemployment 
Date: 12/07/2019
Author: Somandla Ndlovu

Growing up, we have always been told that things are going to be okay someday. We never experienced what it means to have a better life. Most of us have lived an average life. You know what it means living an average life here in Zimbabwe. Being average here is equivalent to being poor in another countries. Our parents have been going through a lot trying to make end meets, but all they can do is to fight for survival.

Now we are growing up. Nothing has changed. We happen to be the future of tomorrow.  Our motherland depends on us to produce the best of fruits. We got ourselves educated. We had sleepless night studying hard hoping for a better tomorrow. We have chosen careers with so much faith that someday we will get jobs of our choice. Now tomorrow has come, there ain't no job to be found. Industries are shutting down. Our elders are losing jobs. And our certificates are only for display.

So many of our youths spend time doing nothing. Roaming around the streets has become their daily routine. A lot engaged into harmful activities; drugs, theft etc cetera. It's not because they can't do nothing, but they are hopeless. It's not like they are good for nothing,  but they have got whatever it takes to have any job in the world. Only that they ain't no opportunities.

Every year thousands of students graduate from universities. With so much excitement some will even hold parties, but without knowing, it's a party to go and sit by the bridge. What option do they have, nothing. The existing companies ask for many years of experience to fill in the void vacancies. Where on earth would they expect us to have attained the experience? It's  all vanity. There is a lot of crying in Zimbabwe. Tears are flowing inside. Every young man really wants to live a better life.

Believe Me You, There Is Hope For The Future!

There is a way to make it here in Zimbabwe. So many are enjoying success while in this country. The same can happen with you. It all begins within your mind. The mind of a human being is the instrument for change. That's why the Bible edges us to renew our minds for transformation.( Romans 12:2).

Our minds inherited some information that was not meant for us. That's why so many of us are stuck today. We have been told that we should go to school; attain high grades; and get the best job in some big companies. Not even once have we been told that we can create employment for others.

The most important thing in ones life is not having a job. The idea of having a job has made many stuck, waiting for a job that might not even come. Who on earth do you expect to create employment for you? Is that person more superior that you? What exactly that person have that you don't have?
I believe you have the mind to think through a problem and render solutions to it. Your problem today is not lack of unemployment,  but failure to use your mind to make fortunes from it.

The most important thing in ones life is his/her gift. One can make fortunes out of the gift.
Unemployment has become the major problem here in Zimbabwe.